Thursday 23 February 2012

Is this what I am really looking for afterall?

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT :)

20th April, there is a human was born with the sole purpose of bringing people to revert back to Tawheed, he was our Holy Prophet, Muhammad SAW. In the same month, I was born to a loving family, in a suburb area somewhere in Kelantan. Erik Erikson ( the Freudian psychologist), theorized that now I'm 22, I'm moving out of the 5th phase of life he termed 'Identity Vs Role Confusion'. I never did have a full idea on what he meant, but well, I guess what he tried to say is that by now, I'm supposed to have my own real identity, or else I will end up having confusion about my roles in life!

Have I've found my identity?

Guess so...There is some days in the past, I can say that I spent my lifetime pondering upon questions of identity. I was more concerned about what I appear to be in the eyes of the others instead of what I real;y feel I am. In the words of Natasha Beddingfield: " The slightest remark would embark me on a journey of self-doubt". I can still remember how I used to get angry, hurt, tell me no, or give me some other form of disapproval. But I did learn a lot from those days, I gave myself a break. I reminded myself that even in a landslide election victory in which candidate secures 55% of the vote, he/she is left with 45% of the population that wishes someone else were the winner. Pretty humbling, is it?

The point is: This is my life. It's a brief candle. I won't spend  it trying to be what other people want me to be. The question I should be asking right now is: " Am I who I wanna be?"